A Birthday Wish, or Step in the Name of Love

I know it’s corny, but I couldn’t resist. (And i know some moms are flippin on me even having "the R" on a kids page.) Most of you know that Roman took his first steps about a week or so ago and is now a full-fledge walker. By walker, I mean exploring all kinds of things with his new found talent of drudging along like baby Frankenstein. Take a look:


Initially we had to incent him to walk, but now it’s a regular occurrence. Which I thought would make me insanely happy but instead has come as bittersweet. With only 2 days left before his 1st birthday, I am face to face with watching my baby become a little boy.

I believe this is something all mothers find out in due time, but experience differently. My initial thought was that I would be in the “let’s go” camp – those parents who happily skip the infant stage for the more fun, more mobile and ultimately more kid-like phases of toddler-hood. I envisioned my son in parks, on swings, riding a bike – all of those things on the horizon. But here on the cusp of the move from infant to toddler, I find myself marinating in the “hurry up and wait” group. Mothers and fathers who couldn’t wait to rush along the stages of life….just to find themselves looking back longingly on earlier moments.

To ease myself into the reality that his first birthday is coming whether I want it or not, I started feverishly planning his party. Would it be outside, at the house, maybe a bouncy gym (believe it or not, I considered it!). In the end, we went with park and prayed for good weather. As of now, Saturday looks like the God’s are favoring us. I also took the day off from work the day before his b-day, to spend some QT with my big boy. (Wish it could be day of, but I’ve got big meetings all the way through Friday night!) You have heard about how much we love b-days(if you didn't read that entry), so I had to make sure I was doing it right!

But as friends and family called to ask what to get Roman for his birthday (I reiterate…the boy needs NOTHING!), I struggled to think what I should do to mark the occasion. A toy seemed trite from the parents, clothes would be like any other weekend J - and even I couldn’t make a college savings bond sound sexy (especially not in this economy). So instead, mommy went back to her roots for Roman’s special day. This year, he’ll get a picture book from Mom and Dad full of all our fave photos of the year, set to a poem Mommy wrote for the occasion.
Its been years since I penned poetry, but no celebration seemed more relevant and the words almost wrote themselves. When I read it to him, he smiled as he always does when Mama reads at storytime…and even though I knew he couldn’t understand a thing, it was the best gift I could ask for. Hope it brings a smile to you too, and reminds you that the best things life has to offer should be relished everyday, should remind you why you exist, and should be remembered always. Enjoy – and happy 1st birthday, son.

A Poem for Roman - Happy 1st Birthday

Loving you defies all of my logic
And forces me to rethink the rational assumption
that there is a defined amount of space that can be filled
within ones heart
The time we had alone,
joined in body and sharing blood,
brought a closeness not unlike skin covering flesh
and introduced anticipation that even wedding days
and pomp and circumstance could not equate
Still, it could not prepare me
for the tsunami of emotions brought forth
when water broke and you swam into our world
The days that followed were a flurry
of caution and curiosity
of advice and amazement
and though you often emerged, albeit briefly, from the shelter of our arms
my fondest memories are in the mirrors
of those eyes I stared into until their shutters closed.
And if you are my moon –
the gravitational pull that draws me out of myself
into the loving place of motherhood –
Than you are also your father’s sun
the reason he rises
and the energy fueling his desire
to care and cover us with God’s blessings
In that way
as you grew, we did also
not in stature,
but in hopes and dreams and aspirations
exceedingly and abundantly above and beyond
what we ever imagined for ourselves
The village around you was built
containing warriors to fight for your soul
their love sharpening you into an arrow
aimed with purpose
ready and poised
So when your coos conveyed a message
and your steps changed our direction
we could respond despite the magnitude of the call
But it was your smile –
that perfectly upturned half-moon of expectation -
which made us understand
the incredible promise we must fulfill
that you might be free to do the same.