You want HOW MUCH for that photo???

Let me start this entry off by saying that I am not, by any means, a scrooge. I am not miserly, cheap, or even thrifty. As a matter of fact, I have been known to waste money on a good number of things in my lifetime that were worthless or contributed to only short term happiness (if that…). Like my spa pedicure set that I got tired just looking at setting up. Or this beautiful angora sweater that made me itchy just looking at it but somehow convinced me that I would love it when I bought it – which I did not! Even my Netflix subscription, to which I have had a movie out that I need to return for 3 months!!! (Damn, where is that anyway??) But I digress….

I preface this way because I experienced a kind of sticker shock that I was not expecting this week when I took my son to the mall to have his photo taken with Santa. Now everyone knows this is a cash trap. A fat man in a suit sits in front of a shiny display and you pay him to hold your every squirming child as the photographer snaps one shot with your kid in tears, right? I was prepared for that, so I planned on taking my own camera and getting my own shots so that I made the most of the trip. Thinking ahead, right?

Wrong. I show up at 2pm on a Thursday and everyone…and I do mean EVERYONE who has given birth in the last 18 months is there with their offspring. And they are not just there – they are decked OUT! Taffeta and tweed blazers galore. I glance nervously at Roman’s corduroys and sweater with the cute polar bear (that I bought for WAYYY too much at a kids store just for this occasion) and I start to turn green. Not to be dissuaded, I follow the line and see a sign that estimates my wait as, get this, 2 ½ hours “from this point”. Like I’m at a freaking amusement park or something? At least at Six Flags there are multiple things to do. Other than the Santa at this mall and the Auntie Anne’s pretzel stand, there couldn’t be less I was interested in.

So I glance at my gussied up (or so I thought) child who is pulling at his sweater and fishing in my pocket for more Cheerios and realize that I do not have 2 hours before this kid goes postal. But I figure that I can be smart and take advantage of the setup by taking some pictures of the “scenery” and going with that.

I scoot to the side and set Roman up near a beautiful tree and poinsettia display and proceed to grab my camera….when a nosy elf (seriously, she was dressed as an ELF!) comes over and says “Um, excuse me, you can only take pictures with the display AFTER you have purchased a Santa Photo set”. I try to explain that I don’t intend on getting in line and having my son take a picture with Santa, I just want the background, to which she replies “You still have to purchase a photo set, ma’am” (said in that ‘oh so pleasant way’ that southern women have of insulting you through a smiling set of teeth). Fine, I say, what is your cheapest package? She points to the “Santa Showcase Menu” and I about lost it. 18 different packages, NONE less than $30. You can get your picture on an ornament, a door knocker, a stocking or even a hologram sticker for your Christmas card, but not for less than $30. How about if I just want the photo on a disk, I ask? Oh, that’s only $14.99, she says. GREAT, I reply. To which she finishes….with the purchase of our basic package of $19.99 for wallet sized photos only.
She’s kidding, right? Nope, not even side smiling. I pretend to look through my purse and exclaim that I need to go to the ATM, and then shoot away from her like my stroller is on fire. I’m so incensed that I barely make it to the Auntie Anne’s for a pretzel and Cheerios date without cussing!

It’s not that I am cheap, I promise. I just can’t see spending like that at a time like this when I can take pictures myself elsewhere. I just don’t want to pay $40 for an outfit and $30 for some pictures of a day my son will most likely remember most for the reams of wrapping paper he gets to tear rather than the gifts he gets or photos he takes.

But I couldn’t go without SOME pictures, so take a look at some of the “home studio” pics that I took and leave me a comment to tell me what you think. I know I’m not going to get calls from Annie Leibovitz to be a stand in, but I think they came out pretty good.

And while you’re looking, take a minute to reflect on all the free things that Christmas brings that are even greater than gifts and pictures – like the beauty of a child’s smile!

Roman on the couch in his Christmas outfit

Cool and collected pose

I don't know what he's doing in this one - I just think its funny!